Soviet T.V. Guide
Fall 2024
Soviet T.V. Guide
Fall 2024
13:00-14:00: What would YOU do for Borscht?
Hungry Soviet Citizens compete in a series of trials. Grand prize winner wins week supply of borsht, which, in Soviet Union, is approximately three days supply of Borscht. In addition to their existing rations, this will equal a six days supply of borsht per the week.
14:00-14:20: 2 p.m. News Check-up!
Details regarding the recent naming of Soviet Union as "Best Thing Ever" by the REAL International Judging Committe (RIJC).
14:20-15:00: Comrades!
Four hungry Moscow citizens navigate the hustle and bustle of city life, dating, and the fine line between optimism and naïveté.
15:00-16:45: Are You Smarter Than A Dirty American
Hungry Soviet citizens compete against hungrier American POWs for intellectual supremacy. Categories of question include: “Russian Words,” “Why Bobby Fischer Was a Fraud,” “Who’s Hungrier,”"Read this Hostage Letter,” “Smile So We Can Take Your Photo,” and“ Species of Raddish.”
16:45-18:45: T.V. Static only. Go into the Fields and Harvest.
18:45-19:30: 6:45 p.m. News Check-up!
Gorbachev wins sexiest man alive after judge mysteriously dies of tiny hole blown in back of head. His forehead stain wins second place.
19:30-20:15: Dr. Mustard
No-nonsense Dr. Mustard tolerates no nonsense while tackling medical mysteries ranging anywhere from "hunger" to "head fell off" to "extreme hunger." If you desire non-sense, look elsewhere.
20:15-22:15: Rockey IV, Soviet Release
Watch as clear-favorite World-Champion Boxer Ivan Drago faces off against crazed and delusional American Apollo Creed, and then wins the fight and then the movie ends.
21:15-22:15: The Late Show With Sergei Kramdov
Join our most favorite, least hungry worker bee while he explains why you aren't doing enough.
22:15-23:15: Reds In The Black: Soviet After-Hours
Your favorite faces of Soviet late-night expand on the previously established theme of you not doing enough.