P1: I shall take thee ‘fore the king of all and beat thee or shall you know your lot lacking d’lay. Draw, you rogue; for though it be night, yet the moon shines; I’ll make a sop ‘o the moonshine of you! Draw, you whoreson, draw! Pulling sword from sheath

2: Look, I’m gonna call the police. Pulling cell-phone from belt-holder

1: You betray the fury which belies your tranquility, rogue. You take vanity’s part against your fate; Draw, you rogue, or I shall be forced to carbonado your shanks!

2: Dude you just rear-ended my car! I was stopped at a red light! Look my kid is in the backseat now let’s please stay civil. 

1: Thou art commended but not revered in thy legality; Be yonder now I beg of thee prithee. 

2: Please, man. Talk normal. 

1: If it pleaseth thou, don’t calleth the polic-eth, for I haveth…. A suspended license.