Gru-pón

Gru-pón is a fire-type Pokemon from the Hoenn region, who explodes when you tell him what amusement park tickets go for these days. Official lore tracks his origin as the evolution of a Groudon who grew old and cynical after his retirement, and now does not leave the house much. This Pokemon’s main attack is “Coupon,” which discounts the attack of a foe by 25% each time it is used, followed closely by his favorite secondary, “adjust tiny glasses and speak passive aggressively.”

Shirstell

Shirstell is a 9 legged beast with 2 front-legs, 2 hind-legs, and 4 legs where its eyes should be, from the Sinnoh region. These give it excellent dexterity and terrible terrible vision. Like a snorlax, it is deadly when focused, but very rarely focused. More often than being focused, it is more often complaining, primarily about the 4 legs where its eyes should be. 

X 

An X is a pill that goes by many names, including ecstasy, dancing shoes, and methylandioxidemethamphatime . When given to your pokemon, it will expand their minds and make them, like, super chill and fun to be around. Attack drops 75%.