Job And His Penpal

Fall 2024

To my companion and confidante, Zac

My cattle have perished and with them, and my grain— from which I sustain the mouths of my family— has also withered into ash before my very eyes. Lo, it has been eight nights since my brow has weighed with the daylong burden of grief from the loss of my son. Why should I have not tasted death coming forth from the womb and expired, for I would rather surely prefer such a fate to mine own. But lo! I must bear the slings and arrows of harsh fate, for God has given me all, and likewise may taketh away. 

Anyways, I was much dismayed to hear that you weren’t allowed to go on the class field trip. I must concur with your previous assessment that Mrs. P was “tripping.” Did you tell her what you told me, about how you wanted to do your homework but you didn’t have wifi because a bald eagle crashed into your satellite dish? P.S. Are you an Natalie a thing yet? 

Job, 

Srry bout da farm. That sucks major dick and balls yo. If that was me I’d be swingin’. 

Nah to answer ur point, Mrs.P was rly actin like a Mr. B. Yo tht beotch waznt hearin it. 

I got my own slings and arrows of harsh fate. Ryan said it wuz like, the most fun at the zoo and Stacy got to ride a camel. Everybody was texting and saying it was awesome.  I was jealous ‘cause mom made me still go to school that day even tho I was gunna be all alone and sent to do my work in the 7th grade classroom, but I finished in like 2 hours and then I had to wait there. It sucked. 

Tenderest Zac, 

Your expressed sympathies for me and my situation have rekindled in my heart a fire which I thought long extinguished. My situation does indeed “suck major dick and balls, yo.” Your humor and levity is like a cloud of anesthetic which protects me from the deep grief which otherwise surrounds my life. 

Let me now update you on my situation. 

My entire family has all now come to pass. They have all gone to the metaphorical west, and I am left only with a memory and a prayer. I sleep by their grave site and stain your letter with rogue tears as I reread it to keep myself company. My skin hast broken out into lesions and all my silver has been pillaged. 

But I am dying a different kind of death as well. One not bodily but mental. I am failing in a test of patience: you never told me what was the deal with you and Natalie? I have been on the edge of my seat forever now. I must know at once, have you married your fortunes together and known the embrace of her bosom yet? If I were to say, she totally likes you. You said yourself that Ryan said Matt overheard Sammy tell Emma. Please inform me at your earliest convince, for, as if in the stead of the food which I can no longer grow, your romantic happiness saturates my being. 

Mr. Job  

Natalie told me she likes Josh now :(

Imma be real with you mr. Job. This stinks. I mean I just feel straight awful. This has to be the worst pain imaginable. I just wish we could trade places so I could not be myself for even just a day.