As I write this, I am on my way to the fight. I want you to know now, that I have every intention of trying to slip in a cool line before firin’. I strongly suspec’ this’ll be my death. I want you to hear this from me, so’s you don’t hear no rumors ‘bout town. I’m gon’ make like a “ hey bud, you dropped your bullet, oh look I found it, here ya go” and then fire, or maybe like, “pop goes the weasel? Naw partner, bang goes my six-shooter, inta your face, that is!” And then pow! Blast’em. If I die by this measure, you can consider me a martyr. 

I know it may sound crazy, but this somm’bich needs death like this town needs a non-tavern restaurant. Oh! Oh! I just thought of a new one. How’s ‘bout: “Paging Dr. Gun, reporting for duty.”  

"Do you like apples?" POW and then I ask "How 'bout them apples?" but should I wait for him to respond to my rhetorical question or do you thnk he'll take the opportunity to shoot me...

If your genetics are anythin’ like your mothers’, I espect to see you here in a couple’a yeers. 

Your loving father