Dear Webster Dictionary, 

I have recently been informed by my older brother Jimmy that there seems to be a misprint in your latest dictionary printing. You see, under the dictionary entry for “Gullible,” I’m told, there is a photo of me wearing a women’s ball gown and high heels, instead of the standardized definition, “easily duped or cheated.” You can understand my natural frustration with this oversight. 

In truth, I’m so upset that I have not been able to bring myself to look. Luckily, I speak from an immutable authority. My older brother Jimmy is allowed to drive and go out past 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights, and him and his girlfriend sometimes kiss alot on the top bunk above mine, so surely he has better things to do than to lie to me about such a serious matter. For this reason I give him my complete and total trust on the matter.

Please correct the issue post-haste so that I do not have to get my grandmother involved in the matter. For you see, her photo could very easily be placed as your dictionary definition of “huge raging litigious bitch,” and, believe you me, you do not want to incur her wrath. 

Best, 

Michael